… with apologies to Joyce Grenfell
Children … now come along
I’m the head teacher and so let’s hold hands and pull together. No, Boris, not that way … this way!
Michael, come along now. Pull your socks up and hold hands.
David, don’t argue dear … you know I know best. Come along, all you have to do is put a tick in this little box here – the one that says “Yea”. No, not the one that says “Nay”.
Now children stop mimicking a pony’s neigh, that isn’t funny.
Yes, Amber, Yea does mean yes.
“Yes to what?” … Jacob, you don’t need to ask what you are ticking. Just do what I say. I know best. It’s for Queen and country. No-one else seems to have a clue.
Now hold your heads up and play your parts. No, Dominic, you can’t be a superjet so just sit down and keep quiet.
Boris, do stop fiddling. Don’t do that.
Oh dear, Dominic, is that a penknife in your hand? It looks rather sharp! Why were you coming up behind my back just then? You had better give that to me. I shall confiscate it and give it to your Mummy. You go and stand in the corner straight away, you naughty boy.